A Guide to Self Discovery

Relationships can be wonderful. They are comforting and do a great job of making you feel special. I have not met a person who does not enjoy being in a good, healthy relationship, but I also know some people who have always been in a relationship with someone. 

Now it is time to ask yourself this question:

Do I know who I am without (fill in the blank)?

If not, then this is a guide for you.

For starters, do not feel bad. It is not unusual for someone to get so caught up with someone else that they tend to lose their own identity. This happens all the time. We as humans are very affectionate creatures that crave the closeness of another person. Everyone loves to feel beautiful, respected and wanted. Relationships are good for that, but if you find that you are losing yourself, it is time to take a step back and do a bit of soul-searching. 

I want to challenge you to be single for six months. (Everyone gasps!) I know that is a long time, but this does not mean you cannot date. I took this challenge for a year after a bad breakup with a long-term boyfriend, and have felt great ever since. I finally got myself back. Correction – a new and improved me! That was the year that I discovered who I was and where I wanted to go in life. I have never felt so happy and free. I want nothing but the same from you as well. It is not as bad as you think. I know you can do it!

Rules and Guidelines:

• Absolutely no getting into a relationship. 

You can go on as many dates as you wish, but try not to get hung up on one person. If you meet someone you really like, take it slow and steady. Just keep them around, but do not make it all about them. This journey is about you, so spend most of your time enjoying the single life. 

• Discover what your hobbies are if you haven’t already. 

Really dig deep and find out what ignites your passion. Take this time to hone your craft. People are drawn to people who have a passion, so that when you are dating, that passion will be something that makes you unique and the other person will find you to be different. They may think “oh wow, this person is really interesting” or something along those lines. 

• Try something new. 

While no one is holding you back, try something you’ve always wanted to do. For instance, a good friend of mine invited me to go salsa dancing with her. I’ve never danced in public, but once we got comfortable, we had a lot of fun. Neither of us had ever taken a dance class before. Thankfully, there were some guys there who were nice enough to show us the moves. That was one of my favorite nights. Grad your best go-to friend when you are thinking about trying something new. You will never regret the memories you make. 

• Take some “you” time, and do some self-reflecting. Ask yourself what makes you, you! Do not sweat it If things do not come to mind at first, because over time, you will have an answer. The experiences and lessons you learn will build your character. Day to day you will grow. 

At the end of this challenge, you will look back and see how much you’ve changed – even if it may be minimal. A little change goes a long way. During this journey, I hope that you learn and grow as a person. I think you will appreciate the time you spent finding who you are, and doing so will help you learn to love and respect yourself. Best of luck on your journey. Remember to have fun!